LowComDom Performances Presents
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're DOOMED When...
after a power failure, your VCR just keeps blinking .
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
In This Issue...
Resolving to not get too excited about this calendar Crapolla.
Now that the year 2000 came and went with nothing happening (I'm writing in November, but if anything did happen, you won't be reading this anyway and no one will know how much I screwed up) let's toss out all the Y2K Crapolla and get on with doing IPO's and buying houses that cost five times too much, and speaking pig-latin to the folks at Fry's Electronics to see if it helps. Let's get on with life!
I usually do not make New Year's resolutions. I just never got into the habit of making silly promises I don't intend to keep. (You know, like in the Sales department.) So on this first occasion of me making silly promises, let's start by resolving the rules.
THE WORLD ENDED!!!!
(Go ahead, prove this one wrong.)
Let's play, "Who said this?"
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"You have too much surface friction."
"My kids loved this idea!"
"Your kids wanted their allowance."
"I want this over. I've been pregnant for a long time."
"As soon as I said it I thought, 'Ron, you're an idiot.'"
"Never drink five day old coffee. It has that five day old taste."
"You missed my incredible 'Open Mouth - Insert Foot' lecture."
"I want to see some guy put Baby Ruths in his pockets and then jump off a building. That way when he hits the ground, candy goes flying everywhere!"
"Western religion is like a nice coat. When times are cold you wrap it around you. When times are warm, you take it off and hang it in your closet."
"You suck less than Marketing."
"I'm not sure that's something I want to wear a pin for."
"You're going to ruin my track record with Satan."
"Even if it is all in my head, it works!"
"No! I hardly have anything to do. If I put that on my list, I'll have something to do! I'll have a list! I won't do it!"
I have to go put some more charcoal in the BBQ. My stove stopped working for some reason. Come to think of it, the lights don't work either. Thank goodness for battery powered computers.
(Destroyer of Laptops - Morale Officer - The Last Honest Geek)
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2000 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
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