LowComDom Performances Presents
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're DOOMED When...
your manager calls you at 8:30 AM Sunday and says, "I've been working all night..."
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
In This Issue...
Your Letters and Not Spring Cleaning
Take A Letter
Hey, do you think you could give us your enlightened viewpoint on the whole Napster situation?
-Harold (meteorology student at OU in Norman, OK)
Well I don't know about enlightened, but as Nixon used to say, "Let me say this about that."
Napster isn't as cut and dry a subject as you might think. First there's the company. Some kid from back east got a great idea for some software and managed to get some VC money without even a hint of a business plan. The company seems to being running on the idea that it's important to get the product made before figuring out how to make money from it. This is a very advanced step in the new Sillycon Valley business idea of losing money on every transaction but making it up in volume. What genius. The fact is Napster will go out of business. It doesn't matter what happens in the court. All the court can do is kill it a bit early.
Now of course there's this question of whether or not it is legal to trade copyrighted music over the internet. In a word, no. It is not legal at all to make copies of copyrighted material and hand it out depriving the copyright holder of revenue. Are people doing it? Yes, just as they have been doing with cassette dubs for years. That wasn't legal either. Does any of this make Napster illegal? No. Napster is not doing anything but building a method that can be used for both legal and illegal uses. Napster never touches any illegally copied material. Holding Napster liable is the same as holding Sony liable for any illegal recordings you might make with your AM/FM cassette deck.
The other player in this whole mess is the recording industry. This industry has bitched and groaned for decades every time a new technology has come along that allowed people to make home recordings. You name it, Compact Cassette, VHS, Beta, DAT, CD-R, if you could record with it, they claimed it was going to put them out of business. And it never did. The recording industry has made billions during these decades of technological advances. In fact they increased prices with every new format! They tell you that you're getting a better product so it costs more to make. Untrue! CD's cost a fraction of money it takes to press a phonograph. These are greedy business people doing what they do best. In fact Napster could use some of them to figure out a way to make money.
Finally, I want to address the poor college kids who claim they can't afford music, therefore they should be allowed to steal. You want free music? Turn on the radio. Just because you can't afford it doesn't give you license to steal. The only time that argument works on me is when starving people steal bread rather than die. Not listening to music will not kill you. Honest, you can tough it out.
Now I am going to come clean and admit I use Napster. Am I a hypocrite after all I have said? Maybe. I never said I was an angel and squeaky clean. What am I downloading? Mainly really obscure comedy. Rowan Atkinson's "Welcome to Hell" bit is particularly good. Is it legal? Not unless I go find a CD and buy it. But what if there is no way to buy the product? Technically, one hasn't broken the law because one hasn't deprived the copyright holder of payment. But that's a lame excuse like the poverty claim, and I doubt it's going to keep anyone out of jail. The truth is we need a healthy recording industry. If no one pays, then no one will record anything. If you download something and you like it, go buy it. If not, think of Napster as a way to sample new products before you buy. I think that's a fair use of the material.
My hope is that one day the recording industry will realize that a try before you buy technology could make them even more profitable. But then this will require them to get their heads out of their asses, so I don't suppose this will be happening any time soon.
Mr. FeK'Lar ,
You are like Bonnie Raitt.
You need PAIN to celebrate good writing.
I think The Crapolla has entered the first stages of a liberal rag!
Mrs. Fek'Lar is treating you too good!!!
VP and oppressor of the working class
P.S. Who do I "do" to reach my lofty position ( or who did me?)
Mrs. Fek'Lar is treating me too good. Far better than I deserve.
So my boss storms in wearing his dress uniform and his white gloves.
"This cube is a pig stye!"
I ask you, is this cube really that messy?
Space Aliens take Over Diet Coke Bottler!
Tech Stocks Plummet! Programmers Riot! Rest of World Watches Sydney Games
Let's play, "Who said this?"
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"This French guys asks which email address I sent the notice to. I tell him and he asks why I didn't send it via paper mail. I think to myself, 'This is why you loose wars!'"
"I didn't stop to get my frickin' Oreos this morning!"
"Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop going to the bathroom!"
"I swear, the British do not speak English!"
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Pull out a gun and shoot me!"
"Look! No new email and no new voicemail! I can go to the bathroom! Rest and Relaxation!"
"Did he just say, what he just said?"
"If I was any busier, I'd wake up."
"If you're trusting your career to this man, it was good knowing you."
Time to rinse and spit!
(Destroyer of Laptops - Morale Officer - The Last Honest Geek)
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2000 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
Hey, you can subscribe to this rag by sending a message to email@example.com. On the first line of your letter type subscribe crapolla. Unsubscribing is the same, just change the command to unsubscribe crapolla
feed available from http://www.lowcomdom.com/crapolla/index.rss