LowComDom Performances Presents
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're a Real Geek When...
Your iPod won't plug into your car radio, so you buy a new car.
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
In This Issue...
An anonymous tightwad writes...
One of the ladies in the office had a bake sale for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I missed it. I really meant to go and spend a lot of money. She didn't meet her goal. She's so embarrassed and said in a huff that she was going to have the Gloryhole for a Cure to make up the money.
Should I go?
Name and Company Withheld Upon Request
You cheap bastard! You're part of the problem in The Valley. People make craploads of money and give virtually nothing to charity. You weaseled out of the bake sale, now you want out of this? You're a low life!
Yes, you are required to go to the Gloryhole for a Cure and spend a lot of money. If you don't care about your fellow human, think of this as a karma thing. If you don't participate, imagine what the universe is going to do to you! Take a couple hundred bucks, you shit!
Very Truly Yours,
I often get email asking me where in tech people should aim their careers. Like I'm the guidance counselor in High School. OK, I'll play your little game and provide, from my perspective, your pocket guide to tech positions.
First, you need to understand that there are a lot of people "in tech" who have no idea what "tech" is. They are the infrastructure of the company. They don't produce the product, in fact they are an expense, but you can't have a company without them.
The final class in the company (and I use the word "class" in the clinical sense) are people who are the biggest drain of cash, and provide the least benefit. These guys think of the company as a pyramid scheme.
The Bush Administration Finally Decides to Save an Endangered Species!
The Golden Parachutes Have Successfully Deployed!
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"Never feed Rolos to your dog."
"I'll respect you after the deployment."
"Is this a real emergency, or just more poor planning on your part?"
"Detroit is the ninth circle of hell."
"If we were all cats, society would not have formed."
I have to push my portfolio manager off a ledge.
They pay me to think. These are my thoughts. Do you think they are getting their money's worth?
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn!
Although written with the software professional in mind, my mind tends to wander all over the place, and I sometimes write about politics, mass stoopidity, dumb things I saw, and whatever else comes to mind.
From time to time, I use salty language, thus The Crapolla is not intended for children, or certain people in the Bush Administration.
This whole mess is copyright © 2008 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
feed available from http://www.lowcomdom.com/crapolla/index.rss