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 Film Review - Private Parts

I wasn't going to see Private Parts. In fact, I wasn't going to even give it the No Tickets review. I don't care for Howard Stern. He appears to be a well-listened-to broadcaster, even though he isn't that good of a broadcaster. I've listened to him a couple times on the radio. He ended up telling his intern, "You suck!" on the air. This isn't what I listen to the radio for. Needless to say, Howard Stern isn't my cup of tea.

I was on a business trip and it so happened the hotel had decided to provide free HBO. HBO decided to air Private Parts. I decided to watch HBO that night.

This poorly crafted autobiography didn't make me a convert to Stern's cause. Now, before I go on, I must state that I love biographical film-making. In fact, I probably watch more biographies and documentaries than any other genre. Private Parts just attempts to explain why Stern has this "Dig me or you're a loser" attitude. His father was a shit, so he's one, too.

After about 20 minutes of Private Parts, I was bored, and decided I had given it a chance. I switched off the set and remembered my screenwriting teacher's lecture about why you have to grab the audience in the first 15 pages of a script. If you don't, they'll flip the channel. My teacher was right.

But I wasn't going to get off that easily. HBO was conspiring against me. Back home, someone decided to descramble HBO. I don't pay for it, not do I pirate the channel. But if the cable company itself doesn't scramble it, whelp, that's a legal freebie. HBO decided to play Private Parts a few hundred thousand more times. What the hell. Maybe my judgment was rash in my hotel room. It had been a long day on the road and sometimes only cartoons are to my liking. I decided to give it another try.

The only reason I tell you this story is that my review of this film has more drama than Stern's movie. If you like Stern, you'll like Private Parts; it not, put a new bag in your Hoover ... this baby's gonna blow!

Dust Bag Full

Film Facts

    Cast
  • Howard Stern
  • Robin Quivers
  • Mary McCormack
  • Fred Norris
  • Paul Giamatti
  • Gary Dell'Abate
  • Jackie Martling
  • Carol Alt
  • Kelly Bishop
  • Henry Goodman
  • Jonathan Hadary
  • Paul Hecht
  • Allison Janney
  • Michael Murphy
  • James Murtaugh
  • Richard Portnow
  • Reni Santoni
  • Lee Wilkof
  • Melanie Good
  • Theresa Lynn
  • Amber Smith
  • Althea Cassidy
  • Jenna Jameson
  • Bobby Boriello
  • Michael Maccarone
  • Matthew Friedman
  • John Michael Bolger
  • John Stamos
  • Chris Barron
  • Flavor Flav
  • M.C. Hammer
  • Ted Nugent
  • Ozzy Osbourne
  • Slash
  • Renee Suran
  • Dee Snider
  • Steven Gilborn
  • Curtis L. McClarin
  • Richard B. Shull
  • Evan Roberts
  • Gabriel De Silva
  • Jennifer Gareis
  • Mandy Steckelberg
  • Ali Marsh
  • Scott Cohen
  • James Villemaire
  • Wendy Hoopes
  • Richard Russell Ramos
  • Irene DeCook
  • Stuart Ellis
  • Mia Farrow
  • Julie Gawkowski
  • David Letterman
  • Jeanine Lindemulder
  • Robert Mazzara
  • 'Stuttering' John Melendez
  • Jennifer Moody
  • Iggy Pop
  • John Popper
  • Luke Reilly
  • Alison Stern
  • Wendy Whoppers

Directed by Betty Thomas

Released in 1997

MPAA Rating: R

Reviewed by Mongo