LowComDom Performances Presents
We receive jokes from a large group of sources. The only criteria for forwarding on the Da Joke RSS is that we laughed when we read the joke. Da Joke RSS is Proudly Politically Incorrect (we can think for ourselves), and will publish jokes that are in danger of offending some people. If you find yourself being overly offended by Da Joke RSS, just drop us from your RSS reader.
Don't bother telling us we're going to Hell; we already know.
This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends or Mojo; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this joke distribution is copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this joke and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the joke in commercial publications without written permission of Major League baseball; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this humorous offer is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted; humor is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke service center; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; Mojo action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking these jokes may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in these jokes is made from 100 percent recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting during staff meeting; if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; jokes probably won't suck as much as Ishtar; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating RSS feeds; slightly higher on top of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation (or lack of sense of humor), broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in Da Joke RSS, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, unwanted children, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. No cholesterol. Dolphin safe. Low in fat. High fiber. Warning! Some jokes may not be funny. They were submitted by the hormonally unbalanced pregnant wife of a Netscape Slacker. You remember Netscape, they're now called AOL!
If something offends you, lighten up get a life, and move on.