LowComDom Performances Presents
LowComDom Announces Mojo Has Moved!
March 15, 1997, Los Gatos, CA
LowComDom Performances announced today that LowComDom Vice President Mojo, the Internet's most famous cat has purchased a house in the mountains of Los Gatos, Calif. Casa del Mojo, with a commanding view of the Sillycon Valley, is now the permanent retreat of Mojo, his pride of four other cats, and Mojo's human servants.
LowComDom Chairman of the Bored, Chris Everett, said, "The new house has almost everything Mojo needs: hot tub, walk-in fridge, ISDN line, low wide window sills, lots of flat carpeted areas, the works. In his new environment, Mojo will be able to continue his important work of being the quintessential cat. I think we'll see more pictures of Mojo sleeping."
Mojo-Cam made Mojo the cultural icon he is today. Mojo-Cam 2.0 has been built into Casa del Mojo with better cameras, better robotics, and less buggy software. "Sometimes you'd see a camera do something really dumb with the old software," said Fred Barling, LowComDom Senior Vice President of Content & Sprocket Holes. "One night a camera was overly interested in a leg of lamb we barbecued. This was very disturbing; how do you make this kind of mistake? Mojo isn't nearly that lean."
The new software has fuzzy logic routines that makes sure this type of mistake won't be made again. "If the picture doesn't contain something that's fuzzy, the software rejects it," said Barling. The software also allows other cats to share the picture with Mojo. "The old software had routines to filter out pictures with the other cats. Of course, it would screw up sometimes and show you a picture with Mojo's sidekick, Widget. One day we received the following letter:"
I have been a frequent visitor to your site since I found it a few months ago. Mostly I visit to see the latest picture of Mojo, especially now that I subscribe to the joke list. But lately I have been noticing a small kitty in the background of some of Mojo's photos. Is there a second kitty or should this sighting be reported to the National Enquirer? (Ghost Kitty seen on Internet!).
"The last thing we want is to cause the main telephone line at the National Enquirer -- which by the way is 716-325-4200 -- to be flooded with bogus news stories. They have their hands full with just the legitimate stories about Jacko," said Barling.
Mojo was unavailable for comment.
LowComDom was founded in 1985 by Biff Pondwater who found a bag of money behind a restaurant in San Francisco's "Little Italy" and used the money to stage his first performance. The rightful owners of the money sued Pondwater and settled out of court, agreeing to accept two of Pondwater's fingers in exchange for the cash. Pondwater went on to become a genius of Octal Mathematics.
LowComDom Performances is funded by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. Partially because we need money to pull this stuff off, but mostly to piss of Senator Jesse Helms.
Biff Pondwater, Founder and President, email@example.com;
Fred Barling Senior Vice President, Content & Sprocket Holes, firstname.lastname@example.org
LowComDom's Home Page is at http://www.lowcomdom.com. The Mojo-Cam Web Page is located at http://www.lowcomdom.com/mojo/index.shtml.
LowComDom & Mojo-Cam are trademarks of LowComDom Performances.
### 30 ###