The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar

You Know You're a Real Geek When...

You listen to Steve Job's keynote, and correctly predict the price cuts in the Apple product line.

You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.

This Crapolla is sponsored by...

In This Issue...

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Is Apple About to Screw The Pooch?

Apple pulled off a great coup when it released the iPhone and iPod touch. They've built the new Swiss Army Knives. Phone, Music Player, and PDA all in one. Each has a mini reality distortion field that makes you happy you bought it. But now Apple appears to be too heavy-handed in managing the platform. Apple has removed several applications from the iPhone Applications Store without explanation.

These applications range from a program that pulls up movie titles, times, and ratings, to the useless I Am Rich application that lets everyone know you have money burning a hole in your pocket. So far, I only see the logic in one of the items pulled. THQ Wireless requested PhoneSaber be removed because the application steps on the rights they bought from Uncle George for Star Wars on mobile devices. But I question the wisdom of Apple getting involved in someone else's intellectual property dispute.

What's really disturbing about Apple pulling apps and not telling anyone, even the developer, is the effect this will have on the development community. Why would you invest the blood, sweat, tears, and money working on an iPhone application with the uncertainty of Apple's fickle distribution decisions? The answers are obvious.

You're Crazy! You absolutely feel you can't ignore this important new platform.
You Drank the Kool-Aid. (See item 1)
You're hoping to get booted from the store so you can turn around and sue Apple for restraint of trade.
You wouldn't. No one would hand the fate of their company to a distribution system that has no clear rules, guidelines, and appellate process.

Everyone who brings out a new platform knows that the key to success is getting outside developers to embrace it. Apple has done this by selling a ton of iPhones and iPod touch, and delivering a full developer kit. But now Apple is poisoning their own well. This behavior has to have worried many companies who have projects in the pipeline. If Apple wants to remove these fears, and stop companies running for the door, they need to take very deliberate steps.

Explain Their Past Actions Publish specific reasons why these applications were removed from the store after they had been vetted by Apple. For that matter, they need to publish reasons why applications which never passed the vetting process were rejected. They don't have to name the apps, but give the reasons. This would allow developers to avoid these pitfalls.
Publish a Clear List of Rules Apple has said it won't publish porn. Please explain what constitutes porn. Using the old saying, "I can't tell you what it is, but I know it when I see it." is crap!
Make the Intellectual Property Verification Process Transparent Tell us how Apple verifies claims of IP violations. Otherwise, it's going to be a free-for-all out there.
Establish an Appellate Process If an app is taken down, or even fails to pass the vetting, the developer should be told why, and the developer should be able to discuss why with Apple. Apple should be willing to help the developer understand what modifications it needs to make to remove Apple's objections.

As I said, developers are a key component to any platform's success. Putting doubt in the minds of developers is a great way to drive them away. Apple has shown its heavy hand. Now it needs to show there's a brain wielding it.

This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.

Olympic Crisis!

Not Only Are the Fireworks, and Kid Fake, There's no City in China Called Beijing!

Let's play, "Who said this?"

Heard in the halls of various software companies.

"You have to go to Legoland once."
"You also have to die once."

"Have you heard anything about lay-offs?"
"Are we having lay-offs? Can I be on the list? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"We moved the ping pong tables because someone decided that being able to see them from the lobby was bad."

"We can't start the meeting until more of my flunkies arrive."

"Let's not fix the bugs. We'll just start a new version."

Excuse Me

They're about to refill the Diet Coke machine.

Fek'Lar
They pay me to think. These are my thoughts. Do you think they are getting their money's worth?

Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn!

Although written with the software professional in mind, my mind tends to wander all over the place, and I sometimes write about politics, mass stoopidity, dumb things I saw, and whatever else comes to mind.

From time to time, I use salty language, thus The Crapolla is not intended for children, or certain people in the Bush Administration.

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EOJ

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