The Dictionary - N

Nacho Cheese

  1. It belongs to someone else.

Nails

  1. A hard covering on the end of the finger, which Mom can never have a full set of due to pitching for batting practice, opening stubborn modeling clay lids and removing heat ducts to retrieve army men and/or doll clothing.

NAND

  1. The Boolean operator meaning "not and" for use in database searches. The "N" prefix can be used with other words. NBUTTER means Margarine; NTRUTH means Politician; and NROSS PEROT means modest.

Natural Childbirth

  1. You know, no eye make-up, no lipstick, no rouge...

Natural Male Enhancment

  1. The Chevrolet Corvette

Nazigator

  1. An overbearing member of your carpool.

Necrophilia

  1. That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

Negligent

  1. Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly open the door in your nightie.

Negotiate

  1. To seek a meeting of the minds without the knocking together of heads.

Negotiating

  1. The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

Neighbors

  1. The strangers who live next door.

Nerd

  1. A Nerd is a person whose life is completely enveloped by technology.

Necessary Evil

  1. Some terrible person in an organization who can not be laid off, fired, or even assassinated.

Network

  1. To spread misinformation.
  2. Successful Fishing.

Network Security

  1. Building a series of gateways on a network which prevents any traffic from flowing. A secure network is a useless network.

Neurotic

  1. A person who worries about things that didn't happen in the past, instead of worrying about something that won't happen in the future, like all us normal people.

Neutrino

  1. A Neutered Italian.

New Journalism

  1. Print the truth -- Don't offend anyone.

News

  1. An illusion created by two people talking fast for 45 seconds.

Newton

  1. The measurement of figs.

Newton, Sir Issac (1642-1727)

  1. Cookie Inventor
  2. Apple Polisher

Nice Girl

  1. One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Nickname

  1. Generally, your own name with the suffix "ster" attached in a forced awkward attempt at familiarity, e.g. "Bobster," "Hankster" or "Georgester."

Ninety-Ninety Rule

  1. "The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time." Attributed to Tom Cargill of Bell Labs.

Nipple

  1. In plumbing a pipe whose end is uncapped.
  2. In anatomy, the end of the ducts of the mammary glands. Male nipples may be displayed in public. Female nipples may not be displayed in public, because female nipples are obscene.
  3. Nature's thermometer.

No

  1. The response that guys who will spend most of their time in the gym lifting weights might put on a true/false test.

Node

  1. Was aware of.

Noggin

  1. A half a cupful of whatever.

Nophyllactic

  1. A seldom-used, super-powerful form of birth control. Unlike the prophyllactic's barrier method, the nophyllactic utilizes the word "no" to avoid conception.

Nostalgia

  1. Trimming the Christmas tree with popcorn made in the microwave oven.

Note and Initial

  1. To spread the responsibility.

NTSC

  1. Never Twice the Same Color - The American television standard.

Nude Beach

  1. The best place to sell binoculars.

Nude Models

  1. The reason for your sudden interest in art.

Nudism

  1. Exposure with composure.

Nudist Camp

  1. A place where the peeling is mutual.
  2. A place where men and women air their differences.

Nun

  1. The tallest of the Penguin species.

Nurse

  1. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal.

Nutritionist

  1. A real bean-counter.

Nymphomania

  1. A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Nymphomaniac

  1. A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

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