A long Time Ago, In a Frat House Far, Far Away...

Luke: "You were in the Greek System?

Ben: "I was once a Frat Guy the same as your father."

Luke: "My father didn't belong to a frat. He was a tool, an RA in the dorms for four years."

Ben: "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your father's ideals. She thought he should stay home. Not drink until four in the morning and then piss on things."

Luke: "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."

Ben: "He was a cunning partier, and the best boat-racer in the house. And he was a good bro. I understand you've become quite a booze hound yourself. For over five years he got so curbed he could hardly function. Before the dark times. Before, his skirt."

Luke: "How did my father become a lame ass?"

Ben: "A young chick namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself until she turned to evil, helped other women hunt down and destroy the coolness in men. She civilized and murdered the bro who was once your father. Your mother was pissed off by the dark side of Beer"

Luke: "Beer?"

Ben: [smiles] "Yes, Beer is what gives a frat guy his power. It's a beverage created by hops and barley and shit like that. It fucks us up. Gives us beer goggles. And lets us yell stuff like "penis" in bars everywhere. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your Mother wouldn't allow it. She thought you'd follow some Frat Brother on some binge drinking crusade."

Luke: "What is it?"

Ben: "Your father's beer-bong. The weapon of a Frat Guy. Not as random or clumsy as a shot glass. An elegant weapon for a less civilized age..."