LEARN TO BE A REAL MAN

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY, BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's right, in just six quarters, you too can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline:

FIRST YEAR

Fall Schedule

MEN 101 Combating Stupidity MEN 102 You too can do housework MEN 103 PMS - Learn when to keep your mouth shut MEN 104 We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas

Winter Schedule

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques MEN 111 Understanding the female response to getting in at 4 a.m. MEN 112 Parenting: It doesn't end with conception MEN 113 Get a life, learn to cook

Spring Schedule

MEN 120 How NOT to act like an asshole when you're wrong MEN 121 Understanding your incompetence MEN 122 You, the weaker sex MEN 123 Reasons to give flowers

SECOND YEAR

Fall Schedule

SEX 101 You CAN fall asleep without it SEX 102 Morning Delimma: If it's awake, take a shower MEN 201 How to stay awake after sex MEN 202 How to put the toilet seat down

Winter Schedule

MEN 210 The remote control: Overcoming your dependencies MEN 211 How NOT to act younger than your children MEN 212 You too can be a designated driver MEN 213 Honest - You don't look like Russel Wong - Especially naked

Spring Schedule

MEN 220 Omitting @#%*!+ from your vocabulary MEN 221 Fluffing the blanket after farting is not necessary MEN 222 Real men ask for directions MEN 223 Thirty minutes of begging is not considered foreplay

GRADUATION!!!