In The News...

Attorney General Janet Reno charged Microsoft with trying to monopolize access to the Internet and has asked a federal court to fine the company a million dollars per day. Analysts say at this rate, Bill Gates will be broke just 10 years after the earth crashes into the sun. -- Norm MacDonald on SNL

Jerry Brown announced he is running for mayor of Oakland, and Bay Area newspapers said he has a 50% approval rating among California college voters surveyed on Friday. "So many space cadets. So few comets." (Argus Hamilton)

The surviving "Wizard of Oz" Munchkins held a reunion in Los Angeles over the weekend. "Why? Because, because, because, because..." (Cutler Daily Scoop)