In The News...

Jacko Not So Wacko: It's been a bad week for singers. Tommy Lee is going to jail. George Michael, arrested for his little thing there. Who'd ever think that the rock star with the most normal sex life is, like, Michael Jackson. (Jay Leno)

I Want Your Rehab: If convicted, pop singer George Michael could get jail time, be fined and then ordered to enter the Hugh Grant Center for Stupid Celebrities. (Jerry Perisho)

Take a Right: Rush Limbaugh was inducted into the National Assn. of Broadcasters Hall of Fame. He attended the ceremonies for his installation and to dedicate the halls' new right wing. (Gary Easley)

Not Off the Cuff: Jerry Springer's producers want to cut down on the show's fistfights. So they've decided when guests arrive, they'll just leave their handcuffs on. (Dennis Blair)

"California is considering a bill to raise the pay of jurors from $5 a day to $16. Or even more if they agree to pay attention to the evidence." -- Bill Maher

Popcorn Extra: Business Week says studio executives are considering a proposal to tie movie ticket prices to production costs. "For example, a ticket to 'Titanic' would cost $19.20, admission to an independent film like 'The Full Monty' would cost 29 cents -- and Pauly Shore would owe everyone $78.95." (Steve Voldseth)

Windows of Opportunity: Justice Department officials have obtained internal Microsoft documents that would support a new antitrust case. "Man, I hope the federal government wins. I like to root for the little guy." (Dennis Miller)