British Humor

A WWII American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months when he was finally given a week of R&R. He caught a boat to a supply base in the south of England, then took a train to London. The train was extremely crowded and he could not locate a seat.

He was dead on his feet and walked the length of the train looking for a place to sit down. Finally he found a compartment with seats facing each other; there was room for two people on each seat. On one side sat only a older proper looking British lady with a small dog sitting in the seat beside her.

"Could I please sit in that seat," he asked.

The woman insulted him, saying, "You Americans are so rude. Can't you see my dog is sitting there?"

The exhausted man walked through the train again and still could not find a seat. He found himself back at the same place.

"Lady, I love dogs. I even have a couple at home. I would be glad to hold your dog if I can just sit down."

The snooty woman replied, "You Americans are not only rude, but you are also arrogant!"

He leaned against the wall for a time, utterly exhausted and finally said, "Lady, I've been on the front lines in Europe for three months with not a decent rest for all that time; could I just please sit there and hold your dog?"

The lady replied, "You Americans are not only rude and arrogant but you are also obnoxious."

Hearing her comment, the soldier calmly stepped forward, picked up the dog, threw it out the window. Then he sat down where the dog had been sitting. The lady was awestruck and speechless.

Across the isle, an older neatly dressed Englishman spoke up.

"Young man, I do not know if all Americans fit the lady's description of you, but I do know that you Americans do a lot of things wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you hold your fork with the wrong hand, and now you have just thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"