THINGS NEVER TO SAY DURING SEX

Is it in?

You've got to be kidding me.

(phone rings) Hello? Oh nothing and you?

Do I have to call you tomorrow?

Oh momma, momma!

Oh daddy, daddy!

You look better in the dark.

You are much better than my last girl/boyfriend.

This sucks.

Can you finish now? I have a meeting.

Damn! Is that all you know what to do.

Did I tell you, I have herpes?

Hurry up, the games about to start.

zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Are you trying to be funny?

By the way, I want to break up.

Is that smell coming from you?

Wow!! I've never seen that before.

Do you know what some female spiders do after sex?

You're so much like your sister.

Your mom's cute.

What's your name again?

A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!

Can we order a pizza now?

Get your hand out of there!!

I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.

Cover me boys, I'm going in!!!

DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!

Fire one!

God, that is small!!

Who smells like fish?

Your best-friend does it much better.

Shut up, bitch!

What, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!

Let me spell it out for you, b-r-e-a-t-h m-i-n-t.

By the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog.

Oh Shannon, Shannon.. I mean ...Cindy. shit.

Your breast milk is just like my mom's....

Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.

Is it o.k. if I never see you again?

You're boring.

How come we each have a penis?

Just use your finger, its bigger.

Get off me, I will do it myself!!!!

You're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.

My mom taught me how do this.....

I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!

I was once a woman...

Wanna see me take out my glass eye?

I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!

Mooooo!!

Fire in the hole!!!

I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there.

Hurry up, I am late for a date.

I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?

Of course i don't love you.