Things Will Rogers Never Said (But Probably Wishes He Had)

It's a confused world. We're running out of electricity and aw, shucks, nobody even knows what it is.

Sign on a boss's desk: "It's too late to agree with me. I've already changed my mind."

When the teacher asked the meaning of "unaware," little Johnny replied, "It's what you put on first and take off last."

It's a well-known fact that the older a man gets, the faster he could run as a boy.

What the average couple wants to get out of their new car is the kids.

People who depend on their family tree for status should shake it first.