Ask Bob

Dear Bob,

How long, at the rate of two a year, will it be until there are no more rap artists (and I use that term loosely) left alive?

I'm glad you asked. Two rap artists per year is only the current figure of decline. Consider this:

If you take the number of poor black teens who become pregnant each year, multiplied by the average of two bad nigguz per mother, minus the number of those who can't rhyme and talk fast, then add the number of desperate, greedy music industry executives and divide by 567 words per minute of the average rap star, plus the rate of acceleration to fame in regard to the ratio of lack of brains versus guns, you would have the the complete annihilation of all rap artists by 2:46 a.m. Aug. 2, 2013. With slight moderation, this same formula can be applied to professional sports players.