In The News...

Yeah, Yeah Yeah!: On Feb. 9, 1964, 35 years ago, the Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show ... On the very same night, Yoko Ono was breaking up a Three Musketeers bar. (Bill Williams)

Cover-Up: Muhammad Ali has been chosen for the 75th anniversary cereal box of Wheaties. "In a related story, the Falcons' Eugene Robinson is gonna be on a box of Trix." (Jay Leno)

Plot Line: Anna Nicole Smith has just signed to appear as a gold- digging widow in an upcoming episode of "Ally McBeal." Oh, man! Where do they get these wacky ideas? (Steve Voldseth)

That's the Way it Goes: Farrah Fawcett is 52. "The sad news: From now on, she'll be played by Cheryl Ladd." (Voldseth)

"O.J. is going to star in another summer movie, 'I Know What You Did Three Summers Ago.'" (Jay Leno)

Grand Old Philly: The GOP has chosen Philadelphia for its convention in 2000. "Philadelphia's the perfect choice. It's the home of the Liberty Bell, and like the Liberty Bell, the Republican leadership is old and seriously cracked." (Joshua Sostrin)

And Speaking of Conventions: Los Angeles is considered a near lock to host the Democrats' convention in 2000. "L.A.'s the perfect choice. It has dumb blonds for Clinton, record companies for Tipper Gore to beat up on and -- like Washington and its Redskins -- we don't have a professional football team either." (Sostrin)

Protection Plan: The government is studying whether cars should have higher standards for side-impact collisions. "One proposal is the Clinton standard, which would require cars to be completely unscathed after taking constant hits from the right while occasionally getting slammed on the left side." (Joshua Sostrin)

Modern Medicine: A new survey in the Journal of American Medical Association has revealed that a surprising four out of 10 Americans used alternative medicine last year. "However, three out of those four people consider going to a doctor who keeps appointments and has magazines less than six months old in his office to be a form of alternative medicine." (Sostrin)

Killer Fashion: Patrizia Reggiani Marinelli, the ex-wife of Italian fashion heir Maurizio Gucci, was convicted of ordering her husband's murder and was sentenced to 29 years in prison. "Most agree this is a tremendous price to pay for a Gucci knockoff." (Conan O'Brien)

Land of Oz: Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath are getting back together for a six-week tour. "But I think Ozzy's kind of getting up there in years. Remember how he always used to bit the head off a live bat? Now they have to cut the bat into small pieces." (Jay Leno)

President Outrageous: "Ted Turner said over the weekend, he'd like to bring some excitement to the presidential election in 2000 by running himself. Actually, that's Plan A. Plan B is to colorize Al Gore." (Steve Voldseth)

My Stars!: The first poster for the new "Star Wars" prequel has been posted on the official Star Wars Web site. "It's called Star Wars, Episode I: The Merchandising Menace." (Premiere)

Say What?: Will Smith will gain 30 pounds or more to play Muhammad Ali in a movie. "Evidently his agent misunderstood him when he said he wanted a fat role." (Andy Gram)

Lady Loud: If you yelled for eight years, seven months and six days in a row, you would have produced enough energy to heat one cup of coffee. "You know what this means: Judge Judy would have enough hot coffee to open up her own Starbucks." (Andrew Wisot)