In The News ...

Don't Mess With Mother Nature: Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition lost a long-running court battle and has been denied its tax-exempt status. Robertson is forecasting a Level IV hurricane at the IRS regional headquarters. (Jim Rosenberg)

Fourscore And Seven Years Ago: Michael Jackson paid more than $1.5 million for producer David O. Selznick's best picture Oscar from the classic film "Gone With the Wind." It's the most Jackson has paid on account of a statue, unless you count the statute of limitations. (Rosenberg)

Changing Channels: Starting this month, half of all new TVs will be built with a V-chip to help parents filter out inappropriate programs. "That's not to be confused with the Aunt Bee-chip, which only filters out reruns of 'The Andy Griffith Show.'" (Daily Show)

Long Distance Man: "There's a new record for running the mile. It broke the old mark set by Al Gore while trying to distance himself from President Clinton." (Zack Taylor - Westwood One Radio Network)

Getting Credit: In Hamilton, Ohio, youngsters John Riley and Billy Grimes were rescued this week after being trapped in a boxcar near the Miller Brewing Co. With no food or water, they survived on only beer for eight days. Ohio State University granted the boys six hours of credit for the experience as a "college preparatory course." (Rosenberg)

Republican Rebel: Senator Bob Smith of New Hampshire will leave the GOP because it's not conservative enough. He objects to one of the more liberal platforms of the party -- a woman's right to vote. (Alan Ray)

Birthday boy: O.J. Simpson turned 52. Apparently, he wasn't expecting a party. And he was shocked when he came home and one close friend jumped out and yelled "Surprise!" (Steve Voldseth)

Bed Check: It looks like Stephen King is recovering nicely from his accident. "Although publication of his next novel may be delayed by as much as 40 minutes." (Dennis Miller)

Retail Madness: A new combination lollipop-radio will arrive in stores in the fall. When the sucker is bitten, a tiny FM receiver transmits sound to the listener's inner ears directly through teeth. "Now everyone can enjoy the excitement of hearing voices in their heads without the messy inconvenience of being psychotic." (Ira Lawson)

A Mickey Mouse Education: Disney wants to build a high school in its Florida town, Celebration. "Would you want to take history classes from the people who made 'Pocahontas'?" (Daily Scoop)

On the Big Screen: According to the Hollywood rumor mill, there could be another "Rocky" sequel. "You can tell Rocky is getting older. In this one, he's wearing trunks up around his armpits." (Voldseth)

Begin the Countdown: US and British space experts believe China may launch a manned spacecraft as early as next spring. "Or as soon as their spies figure out how to steal the secret formula for Tang." (Bob Mills)

Yeah, Yeah Yeah: Ringo Starr turned 59 this week. He's at the age now where "a little help from my friends" comes from Depends, Kaopectate and The Clapper. (Bill Williams)

It's A Miracle: At UCLA Medical center in L.A., a woman woke up after three months of being in what doctors said was an irreversible coma, while a priest was reading her last rites. "This is true... she's in a coma for months -- she's so catatonic, they're giving her last rites -- and then, boom, she's up running around talking to people. So it looks like Al Gore may already have found his running mate." (Voldseth)