Types of People One Meets in a Public Washroom

EXCITABLE -- Runs in, grabs for zipper, zipper is stuck; finally gets it down, finds shorts have twisted around his leg, can't find hole, rips button off in rage, pisses in pants.

SOCIABLE -- Joins a friend in a piss whether he has to or not.

CROSS-EYED -- Looks in one on left, pisses in one in middle, flushes one on right.

NOSY -- Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

TIMID -- Cannot urinate when someone is watching. Flushes urinal as if he has already used it, sneaks back later.

INDIFFERENT -- All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

CLEVER -- No hands, shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pisses on floor.

WORRIED -- Is not sure of what he has been into lately; makes quick inspection.

FRIVOLOUS -- Plays stream up and down and across urinal, tries to hit fly, never grows up.

ABSENT-MINDED -- Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

DISGUSTED -- Stands for a while, gives up, walks out, goes a few paces, turns and charges back. Doesn't make it.

SNEAKY -- Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocently, knows man in next stall will be blamed.

CHILDISH -- Looks directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

PATIENT -- Stands for a very long time, reads paper with free hand.

DESPERATE -- Waits in long line, teeth grinding, pisses in pants.

EFFICIENT -- Waits until he has to shit and then does both jobs at once.

TOUGH -- Bangs penis against side of urinal to dry it.

FAT -- Has to back up and take a long blind shot at urinal, misses, pisses on shoes.

LITTLE -- Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

DRUNK -- Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.