Corporate / Government Vocabulary

A PROGRAM: Any assignment that can't be completed by one phone call.

EXPEDITE: To compound confusion with commotion.

CHANNELS: The trails left by inter-office memos.

COORDINATORS: The guy who has a desk between two expeditors.

TO ACTIVATE: To make more carbons and add more names to the mailing list.

TO IMPLEMENT A PROGRAM: Hire more people and expand the office,

UNDER CONSIDERATION: We're trying to find it in the files.

RE-ORIENTATION: Getting used to work again.

RELIABLE SOURCE: The guy you just met.

INFORMED SOURCE: The guy who told the guy you just met.

UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCE: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

WE ARE MAKING A SURVEY: We need more time to think up an answer.

TO NOTE AND INITIAL: To spread the responsibility for this.

LETS DISCUSS THE MATTER: Come to my office, I'm lonely.

LET'S GET TOGETHER ON THE MATTER: I'm assuming you're as confused as I am.

WE WILL ADVISE YOU IN DUE COURSE: If we figure it out, we'll let you know.

IT IS IN PROGRESS: So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.

GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING: We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't conflict with what we have decided to do.

A CONFERENCE: A place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and loneliest of thought so the members can get more per-meeting pay.

WE WILL LOOK INTO IT: By the time the wheel makes a full turn, We will assume you will forget about it also.

A CLARIFICATION: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

A MEETING: A mass mulling by master-minds where minutes are kept and hours are lost.

TO NEGOTIATE: To seek a meeting of the minds without the knocking together of heads.

CONSULTANT (or expert): Any ordinary guy more that 50 miles from home or office.