Poor Burglar

"Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.

"Did he get anything?" his friends asked.

The guy said, "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs."

One of his friends ask, "Whoa! But...how???"

The guy answered, "Well, it was really late at night and my wife thought it was *me* coming home drunk!!"