Stocks

The old perfesser finally invested in some stocks recently... being the wise man he is, he diversified by buying into a large computer company, an international auto maker, and a home/healthcare products maker, among others.

His broker called him the other day, and said, "I've got exciting news! I just heard Proctor & Gamble is going to split!"

"Oh my," said the old perfesser, "I'm really sorry to hear that... they've been together for such a long time."