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4640 Soquel Drive, Soquel, CA 95073 (408) 477-1341

When you've ingested the proper amount of caffeinated beverage, all becomes right with the world. A proper coffee buzz can end world conflict, causing men to beat their swords into plowshares, joining arm-in-arm to do right for the greater good. Congress should have a daily dose of good coffee ... fewer bad laws would be passed as a result. In point of fact, fewer laws would be passed in general, which is certainly not a bad thing. Look at our founding fathers ... they all partook of healthy amounts of good coffee, and we _still_ subscribe to the basic laws they penned. Whoever wrote the XVIII (prohibition) amendment obviously did _not_ have a good cup of coffee ... why do you think they called them tea-totalers anyway?

Employers and employees should have a good dose of coffee before they start their work day. Everyone would get along, do their share, be more efficient and helpful, and no one would get fired. Every parent should ingest a nice, hot steaming cup of caffeinated brew before dealing with their children. There would be fewer runaways, less drug abuse, fewer teenage pregnancies, and fewer shitty rock bands.

Coffee is non-toxic, non-flammable, safe for kids, pets and the environment, a legal massage of the pleasure sensors, and an excellent blood thinning agent (depending on which physician you talk to).

Coffee is brain food. It inspires, invigorates and otherwise massages creative orifi (pretentious, no?) in an otherwise stagnant mind. Most towering novelists will be the first to admit a good cup of coffee is the perfect high colonic for writer's block. It is the liquid muse that whispers sweet creative passages to painters, poets, musicians and other great artists of and before our time. As a rule, mimes do not drink coffee ... at least not good coffee.