I want to be able to say something nice about every film I write about. That's not easy. The truth is a lot of films really are poor excuses for entertainment. I think if I concentrate, I can say something nice about Sphere. Here goes.

Sphere has the best stunt jellyfish I have ever seen in a movie. There it is, a clear compliment, truthful and honest to the audience. The jellyfish are incredible!

The rest of it is ... crap! Let's see, a 300-year-old spaceship from Earth's future sunk in the middle of the ocean. There's a big ball bearing inside that's more mind-blowing than LSD and, of course, Sharon Stone takes drugs.

This is once again a testament that Michael Crichton novels should never be made into movies. They don't translate well at all. Jurassic Park, Disclosure, The Lost World: Jurassic Park are all examples of good books that just sucked the carpet clean on the big screen. The same is true of Sphere. It's time to use those very large brains we evolved and stop doing this.