Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're DOOMED When...
your company's form S-1 mentions you by name as a "potential risk".
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
In This Issue...
Right-Wing Bullshit on Cruise Control
Being in an Operations group means that every once in a while, you have to work a holiday. It's not so bad. The load is usually lighter, you can wear your "Fuck Authority" t-shirt to work, and the slime-balls from marketing aren't going to be bothering you. You also get to choose a comp day in the future.
Memorial Day was my turn at Holiday duty. I jumped in the Fek-Mobile and headed up U.S. 101 to the Swamp I work in. I was approaching the speed of sound when I realized that there was no one else on the road. I'd better slow down or I was sure the be picked off by the CHP. I set my cruise control. Huh? When was the last time any one has been able to use cruise control on 101, especially during the commute? I arrived un-cited.
I fired up the Winders machine WTHAIS insists that I use. We have so many tasks these computers must undertake with XP Bloatware Professional that I get 15 minutes from time I power up the computer to when I am able to double-click my first icon. Time to get a Diet Coke and see if I can steal a donut.
I flip through the calendar. Now, when should I take that comp day? Hmm, how about the day we're scheduled to ship the next version? Come to think about it, let's also sign up for a vacation that week.
These are the benefits of being a team player!
Just Remember, They Said Ketchup Was a Vegetable
You know how stuff happens in threes? Well I think I have found a threesome. First there was the bullshit that we invaded Iraq because they had weapons of mass destruction. We had really solid evidence. As of this writing, none have been found. Meanwhile, they give V.P. Dick Cheney's old company a huge contract, giving us the impression we really went to war for the profits of big business.
Bullshit item number two (no pun intended) was the idea that giving money to the wealthy will help the economy. Yup, because I know Jeffrey R. Immelt was having trouble saving nickles for that new DVD player. This is more of the reaganomics trickle-down theory. Trickle-down, sounds like the conservative version of a Golden Shower. The super rich get money, everyone else is pissed upon.
Today, bullshit item number three hit. The FCC loosened regulations on how many TV stations a single company can own. Now whether or not this is a good thing isn't the point. I see good arguments on both sides. The bullshit kicks in when Chairman of the FCC Michael Powell says that having fewer companies owning all of the stations is actually going to increase diversity and local programming.
Sherman, set the WABAC machine to the 1980's. In this decade, the Reagan administration did exactly the same to radio stations. The result is that there are now very few independent radio stations. Most of what you listen to was programmed some where else. The actions of the 1980's has not helped diversity in programming. There is now less local oriented programming on radio.
What I'm seeing in the actions of the neo-conservatives that are now in the driver's seat are a lot of lies. Let's take a look at the scoreboard. The big oil boys in the White House just acquired more oil fields. They have cut taxes on the huge profits they are going to make in those oil fields, and their friends who own huge media conglomerates will be allowed to consolidate into bigger companies which will produce even more boring dumbed-down programming.
Remember, these are the same people who in the Reagan administration wanted to count packets of ketchup as one of the required vegetables in the national school lunch program.
I am thoroughly convinced that the Administration is all for people. As long as they are correct-thinking, loyal, conservative, Christian, patriotic, freedom-loving, God-fearing, Rich Americans. Otherwise, as Mr. Garrison once said in South Park, "You go to hell! You go to hell and stay there!"
This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.
5 out of 10 People Are Gullible Idiots!
But, Not You.
Let's play, "Who said this?"
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"I hate wearing pants."
"What if I say please at the beginning? Do you think that will keep him from being offended?"
"Let's see, 'Dear Idiot, Please read all of the words in my previous letter.' Yes, that sounds much better. You see it's important to read your letter aloud to feel the full impact of your words."
"Some Account Managers are very nice."
"Yeah, but most of those die at birth."
Excuse Me
I must pack my bags.
Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2003 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
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EOJ
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