The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar

You know you're screwed when...

Jerry Sandusky gives you a glowing recommendation on LinkedIn.

You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.

This Crapolla is sponsored by...

In This Issue...

Bored, Wet, and Infrequent.

Veni, Vidi, Fefello

Are you like me? (You poor bastard!) Are you getting disappointed by Apple announcements? The Stepford Executives walk out on a stage and show us products just incrementally updated and acting like they just discovered Manna From Heaven.

The iPhone 5, taller, lighter, 4G, yawn. Yes, it's a great phone. But it's not that much more than the one I've had for a year. Ditto on the iPad. It feels like Apple is standing still, allowing someone else to catch up and run away with their bacon. I keep wondering when the public is going to get sick of the same configuration. After all, Apple's products are fashion as much as technology.

Maybe it's not disappointment, maybe I'm just jaded. I had a Droid, and wasn't thrilled by it. The fit and finish of the iPhone is extraordinary. But it's been around for six years. My first real job after college was running a porn movie channel for a local cable company. Yes, you can get jaded looking at that all night long too. There was also a time when Mrs. Fek'Lar and I stopped going to Cirque du Soleil because watching humans do what looked impossible was becoming routine. So maybe I'm just jaded.

I think that means Apple in vulnerable. If I look at their latest stuff and go, "meh", someone can jump in and dangle a cool shiny thing in front of me and create a want I didn't have previously. Next thing you know, I'm buying tech gear from someone else. Just Sayin'.

The British Super Hero

Our friends the Brits are getting a bit jealous over all these super hero comic book movies. They've announced their own project.

Look! Down in The Tube!

It's a Busker!

It's an Oyster Card!

No! It's Drizzle Man!

Yes, it's Drizzle Man... strange visitor from Yorkshire who came to London with powers and abilities far beyond those of dry people.

Drizzle Man, who can change the course of mighty queues, down a Guinness in a single bound, and who, disguised as James Toothrot, mild-mannered umbrella salesman fights a never-ending battle to improve British food.

He carries an umbrella and wears Wellies. When the curry shop down the street closes, he swoops into kitchens and explains the proper use of a spice rack.

The Crapolla Goes Quarterly

I've been a writer of one sort or another since the late 70's (before you were born). What I've learned over the decades is you can only write what your sub-conscience wants to write. Last May, my brain was invaded by an idea for a novel. I've been poking on it ever since. Slowly, story and characters have taken shape, and it is demanding more of my time.

I've decided in 2013, I will publish only four issues of The Crapolla. I've been writing this rag for 15 years, and it feels like my brain wants to do something else. So I'm obeying my brain jelly and working on the novel. If the book is finished by the end of 2013, I'll re-think the change in scheduling.

The next Crapolla will be published about February 15, 2013. Diet Coke references and all.

Keep the letters, threats, and ransom notes coming.

This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.

Petraeus "Affair" a Hoax!

CIA Director Beamed Up and Went Home

Let's play, "Who said this?"

Heard in the halls of various software companies.

"We have lots of surgical stuff laying around the house. Comes in handy at thanksgiving."

"Quiet defiance means QUIET!"

"It swoops in and kills your cookies and takes all your money."
"Sounds like going on a date."

"My team enjoyed meeting with you. But then, my team has no taste."

"This company brings out the Quentin Tarantino in me."

"For the last time, I'm not doing this again."

Excuse Me

Chapter six beckons.

Fek'Lar
They pay me to think. These are my thoughts. Do you think they are getting their money's worth?

Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn!

Although written with the software professional in mind, my mind tends to wander all over the place, and I sometimes write about politics, mass stoopidity, dumb things I saw, and whatever else comes to mind.

From time to time, I use salty language, thus The Crapolla is not intended for children, or certain people from the Christian Right.

feed available from http://www.lowcomdom.com/crapolla/index.xml

EOJ

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