The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar

You Know You're DOOMED When...

You enter a bug into the defect tracking system which says that buttons with focus don't activate when the return key is pressed, and the engineer assigned to the bug closes it as "User Error".

You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.

This Crapolla is sponsored by...

In This Issue...

It's time for quizzes, committee meetings and other silliness.

But First, This Correction...

In our last issue, we published our URL incorrectly. Jason Pascual & Frank Keeney, both of Netscape, pointed out we left out the double whack. Wow guys, nothing to do?

A tradition is a tradition! For Jason & Frank... I'm going to paint Steph's car!

Before We Get Started... A Pop Quiz

Just what the hell are these guys doing?

Bonus points for submitting your answer in essay form.

The Committee

Tuesday November 24 was the regularly scheduled meeting of The Committee to Find Out What's Really Happening, a group of Sillycon Valley Pros well plugged in to various companies. It was just a coincidence that this was the day of the Netscape-AOL merger.

He may be rumored moving to Virginia, but the Committee voted that it definitely didn't see Marc Andreesen replacing the voice of that "You've Got Mail" guy. Just think if he did. It would be something like, "You've got mail, and I've got millions of dollars!"

Maxim & Other Silliness

There's a new men's magazine out on the stands. It's called Maxim, and I have doubts about it's future. Now I said this is a men's magazine, but not the type with the girlie pictures. This one is sorta like Mad Magazine for the 25 year old crowd.

What struck me was the feeling this was not being written by men for men. The banner at the top of the cover says (paraphrasing) SEX * GIRLS * BEER * SPORTS * CLOTHES. Dead give away. CLOTHES doesn't belong on this list. I smell perfume!

Popcicles Anyone?

Damn! It might have been a warm winter so far most of the USofA, but it's been cold in the Sillycon Valley. Makes me want to go back to my little grass shack in Hawaii.

Episode One

Look for a productivity drop in the Software Biz coming in May when Episode One of the Star Wars saga is released. It's not uncommon for software companies to rent movie theatres and send the entire organizations to the flick. I remember a certain Director of Technical Support at one such exhibition who was singing the Mission Impossible theme before the flick started.

Speaking of Star Wars, LucasFilm released the teaser trailer on the web. That same day all T-3 lines in The Valley were jammed by browsers hitting one poor little server. Welcome to the planet Hype. (We didn't get anything done at Titanic Software that day. We just kept trying to get our copy.)

Let's play, "Who said this?"

Heard in the halls of various software companies.

"My husband is a complete dufus. He buys lousy gifts, and he can't cook."

"What am I, fucking Mozart of UI?"

"Profitability is not important."

"This data is crap!"

Excuse Me

I must get in line for the film now.


Fek'Lar
(Destroyer of Laptops - Morale Officer - The Last Honest Geek)

Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 1998 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.

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