Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're DOOMED When...
you get a SPAM whose subject line says, "re: ARE CANADIANS FINDING YOUR SITE?"
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
In This Issue...
This may be the last Crapolla you read!
It's very possible I'm going to piss you off. Not the normal pissing off of my usual bitching about managers and The Redmond Company, I'm going political! I'm going completely off topic to talk about the "detainees" in Cuba. This may piss you off so much, you'll never read another Crapolla. But do me a favor, at least read it to the end before you put down the Diet Coke and go out to buy the ammo.
You know, up until a few months ago, "detainees in Cuba" referred to the entire population of that country. Now it's becoming more and more a symbol of the United States giving up on its ideals.
If anything describes the United States, it's got to be our belief in the rule of law. Without this strong commitment, the U.S. of A. would be no better than your standard Hollywood deal.
In the weeks after September 11th, the U.S. built a case against Bin Laden who was in Afghanistan. We made our demands to the Taliban government while moving our forces into the area. We said what we would do if we weren't satisfied. They thumbed their noses at us. We kicked their ass and started our own hunt for Bin Laden.
I don't have a problem with this. Bin Laden and his twisted clan decided several years ago that America was a paper tiger. They thought they could blow up our embassies, ships, planes, and skyscrapers and we'd just take it. I think we've made our point that if you mess with us, we will mess you up. I consider all of this just and legal.
Now here's where we stop acting like Americans. Sherman, set the WABAC machine to the end of World War II.
We took POWs all during that war, so did our enemies. From all accounts we treated the POWs we took better than the Germans or the Japanese did. At the end of the war we re-patrioted these prisoners. Why? Because taking POWs is simply the process of removing the manpower resource of your enemy. The alternative is to not take prisoners and kill everyone you come across who is the enemy. Taking POWs is a humane act.
When a war is over, you no longer need to starve the enemy of manpower. POWs are released because they are not criminals. Since they are not criminals they are afforded rights under the Geneva Conventions. Civilized countries recognize these Conventions. For quite a long time, we've prided ourselves with the belief that we are civilized.
War criminals are a different case. They are not released after the conflict. They are put on trial. The innocent are released, and the guilty are punished. There are charges, Judges, and legal counsel. There is again, the rule of law.
What's happening in Cuba is neither of these cases. We are refusing to declare the "Detainees" POWs (in fact we have officially taken zero POWs in this war, a new record!) and at the same time, we haven't declared them to be war criminals awaiting trial. The prisoners of Camp Xray have no legal rights. There is no due process. The United States is constantly interrogating these men to try to unravel the al Qaeda network, and discover their plans.
Now you're probably going to say, "But I want the government to discover all of al Qaeda's plans." Me too. I've advocated that in the event we capture Bin Laden, we load him up with truth serum and empty his brain. Why? Because by doing so we can save American lives. In a war saving the lives of your own people comes first.
But are we really saying that these 300+ people in Guantanamo are on par with Bin Laden? I doubt it. Bin Laden is the master mind. Some of these people might know of operations, but then so did German prisoners we took in WW II. We had to recognize the Germans as POWs which meant we had to give them shelter and couldn't shackle them 24 hours a day. Camp Xray looks like the al Qaeda Kennels.
I hear the Secretary of Defense say they aren't POWs because they weren't in uniform. Oh? What does the uniform of Jihad look like? For that matter, did every American soldier in the Revolutionary War wear a uniform? This is a lame excuse. It like saying it all depends on what the meaning of "is" is.
Why should you give a crap about what's happening in Guantanamo? Because it's your government who is doing it in your name. The same government floated the idea that they might charge people inside the U.S. with terrorist crimes, and suspend their constitutional right to legal counsel.
Can you imagine this? You're charged with a serious crime, and Attorney General John Ashcroft has decided you can't have a lawyer? For some reason, the Attorney General has decided that under certain circumstances the Constitution does not apply.
Give a damn about what's being done in Cuba, because the same people who came up with Camp Xray would deny you due process in a heart beat if they thought they could get away with it.
As I see it, we declare these guys POWs and start following the Geneva Conventions (which means we have to build a roof over the kennels and take off the shackles), declare them war criminals and file charges, or just admit that the terrorists won, and that we are no longer a civilized country. They wanted to bring down the United States. If we shred the Constitution and our belief in the rule of law, then they succeeded.
Now I can see the mail. People are going to tell me that it's not patriotic to criticize the government. Au Contre! How do you think we got a government of our own? We criticized the old one to the point that we had a revolution. Without criticism of unjust laws imposed on the Colonies by the British Parliament, and later about the inefficiencies of the Articles of Confederation, there wouldn't be a Constitution. Without the protection to criticize the government, the Constitution would have been shredded in the 1950's by a guy named Joe McCarthy and his evil twin Richard Nixon.
You want to be a patriot? Then read and understand the Constitution. Realize that it's all about restricting the government, not you and me. Then just for bonus points, understand that when you hold our government to our own high standards, you are preserving the Constitution, the country, and our way of life. That's the best way to give Bin Laden and al Qaeda the finger.
This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.
Presidential Pretzels Now Required to Meet Military Spec.
Air Force One Peanuts Next on List
Let's play, "Who said this?"
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"When I was an alcoholic I was very thin!"
"This guy makes idiots look bad."
"Did you get the heads up on that shit-storm headed your way?"
"You know the last thing I want to do in a shit-storm is have my head up."
"I bought a Voo Doo doll at Mardi Gras to scare away the assholes."
"Stop trying to feed me."
"If I want romance, I'll put on some porn for three hours."
Excuse Me
I must go search the Internet to see whose "Enemies List" I'm on. (Good thing Nixon's dead.)
Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2002 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
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EOJ
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