Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar
You Know You're DOOMED When...
The Left thinks you're Adolf Hitler and the Right thinks you're Joseph Stalin.
You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.
This Crapolla is sponsored by...
In This Issue...
A letter from Stinky, and NetFlix's browser police.
Take a Letter
Stinky Banefore of the University of Malibu writes ...
Fek,
Am I Stupid?
My Hub died. So I go to Fry's to buy a new one. (mistake 1) I buy the same EXACT hub (Netgear 8 port Full 10/100 Mbps Switching in a compact, blue metal case Model FS 108) The one we have bought a number of times.
I get back home and plug the new hub into the AC adapter cord from the last one. (The AC adapter was plugged into the wall and was hard to reach) All the ports on the hub light up like a Christmas tree and stayed lit. (A very, very bad sign) I continued and plugged the ethernet cables into the hub in hopes that the hub will work. (Nope. dead ...dead...dead)
I tried the old "BAD" hub and it works (for the moment)
Next day I go back to Fry's (My 3rd mistake) and got a replacement. After waiting 30 minutes and loosing my dignity I get the new hub.
I get back home and plug the new hub into the AC adapter from the last one. All the ports on the hub light up like a Christmas tree and stayed lit again. I stop. I cry. And I do something I don't do much, I think. I plug the old hub into the power supply and it works fine. I go to the other room and plug the new hub into the new power supply and it works fine, that the lights on the port are not on except the power light. I plug the ethernet cables into the hub and the system works fine.
Can you tell me why??? Why would a company change a product so that the AC Adapter from the same model not work on a product with the same SKU & Model Number???
Hugs and Kisses,
Stinky
P.S. Don't you love your country?
Dear Stinky,
Yes, you are stupid. Everyone knows you can't plug old power into new equipment. You're not really Bobb in disguise are you?
By the way, what was mistake 2? Oh yeah, writing to me.
Here we are in the budding Spring of 2002 and damned little is happening in The Valley.
Carly Fiorina is making personal appearances at Costco asking people to vote for the merger between HP and Compaq so she can keep her job (and maybe take home 100 million bucks a year).
Apple has just released a computer than looks like a shaving mirror. There's a 17 week back order on these machines. I guess goatees are out this summer.
It has just been revealed that Ozzy Osbourne did not invent the Osborne Computer. That was a shocker to me. He did bite the heads off of all those animals on stage. I thought he was where they got the term Computer Geek.
This just in ... AOL *MIGHT* use the Netscape browser in their 7.0 release. Seems like a subversive idea using software you already own, doesn't it?
Netscape is dead. You can tell they're dead. They announced that the employees would have to start paying for Diet Coke.
Told you not much is happening.
NetFlix announced that it will go public. I liked NetFlix until the end of last year. My credit card was expiring, and I received a notice that they would be needing my new credit card to continue service. I thought the automation was pretty smart.
I had built up a very long list of films I wanted from NetFlix, so week in and week out, I didn't regularly go to their web site. I'd finish a movie, toss it in the mail, and a while later get a new one from the top of my list.
When I tried to login to the web site, it malfunctioned. It wouldn't recognize my credentials. I found the customer service 800 number buried several layers deep on the site and gave them a call.
Unfortunately, the people who answer this number don't know anything about technology. They have little notion of the web site, and only tell you want someone else told them. Very simply they said, I would have to upgrade my browser.
Excuse Me? The merchant now wants control of which web browser I use? Since NetFlix is the online equivalent of a video store, it's like Blockbuster telling me that only cars manufactured by GM after 1999 will be able to use their parking lot. This is absurd.
I've been with NetFlix a long time. So long that I have NetFlix President Marc Randolph's email address. Back when they were young, no one thought that it would be bad if he sent a letter to all customers from his own address. Since I don't toss valuable information like this away, I decided to write to him.
Several days later, he wrote back telling me they had modified their website. He wanted to know the browser and version I use. He did mention they had decided not to support certain browsers, but didn't mention which.
I wrote back with the information he asked for, and that's the last I ever heard of him. Zero customer service bonus points guys. I kept getting the automated notes to log in and update my credit card. And finally, I was told that since I wasn't cooperating, I no longer had an account.
Oh, I'm all a quiver. Now I'll just have to wait for Josie and the Pussycats to show up on my satellite dish.
Good luck with the IPO guys. I mean that sincerely. If you succeed, it will help the rest of us. But in the Customer Service area, you suck!
I was just tabulating the response to last month's column about the al Qaeda Kennels.
Aren't statistics fun?
This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.
Liza's Wedding a FAKE!
Meeting Really a Summit of Galactic Leaders
Let's play, "Who said this?"
Heard in the halls of various software companies.
"It's very simple, just give me what I want, and no one gets hurt. Otherwise, I'll just keep thinking of new features for you to build."
"Stop teasing me with the Cheese Steaks!"
"Canadians are so nice."
"You'd be nice too if you grew up living between the United States and the Soviet Union."
"That gives us about 5 weeks until QA."
"Yeah and in five weeks you should be able to rewrite XP."
"Are you on the ROCK?"
"Can you imagine a 2 liter bottle of Diet Coke lasting more than a day?"
Excuse Me
I must go stand in the corner.
Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)
Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2002 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.
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EOJ
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