The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar

You Know You're DOOMED When...

Your boss assigns you to train the new people and promises not not interrupt you while you're doing it.

You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.

This Crapolla is sponsored by...

In This Issue...

Weeeeeeeeeeee!

The IPO

Shortly after my return from The Great White North, WTHAIS went public a scant four years and two days after my stock options had been granted.

In the interim we struggled. There was a lay-off I was lucky to survive. We struggled more and re-invented a lot of how we do business.

I was working a later shift on IPO day. I woke up and watched the stock ticker on CNBC, shouting out prices to Mrs. Fek'Lar as she showered.

I expected to find a wild party in the office when I arrived. Instead, it was business as usual. No one was acting particularly happy. I kept chiding people about behaving like this was a funeral.

I was determined to have a good time. It has been a tough four years. The work was intense, and we were lucky enough to be one of very few companies not only making a profit and going public, but our future has never looked better. Damn it, I was going to have some fun. I chugged a Diet Coke, flung the drawer to a filing cabinet open, grabbed random papers and threw them into the air shouting, "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

"I think he's really lost it this time," the next guy over announced.

Facilities came by to tell me I had to clean up all this paper.

"Of course I'll be cleaning this up," I said. "These are classified documents!"

A couple people realizing that I'm fully vested jokingly asked if I would be quitting. At least, I think they were joking.

As the day progressed I reflected on the past four years. There were a ton of people who had been with the company who were now gone. The IPO wasn't the accomplishment of the current employees but an accumulative event caused by everyone who had every worked at the company.

I also thought about a lot of my friends. I still know people who are pounding the pavement looking for a job. Some have been doing this for over two years. I think the market is getting better, but it's still very tough out there. I didn't want to gloat in front of them. In the past decade, I have been picking my friends much better than before. People were genuinely happy for me. Friends I hadn't told sent email or called in their congratulations.

I allowed myself this day of walking on cloud 9. Then it was back to the fight. An IPO is not the end, in many ways it's a new beginning. We can still improve our products and processes, and there are still Marketing Idiots to Bitch-Slap.

This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.

Unemployment Down!

Soylent Green is People!

Let's play, "Who said this?"

Heard in the halls of various software companies.

"This Chinese restaurant is great! They have just the right amount of grease."

"You're pegging the Bossy-O-Meter!"

"I've had better service in third world restaurants."

"I'm on a Tim Tam break."

Excuse Me

Ooooo! Cookies!

Fek'Lar
(The Last Honest Geek)

Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn! This whole mess is copyright © 2003 by LowComDom Performances, all rights reserved. Wanna send this to your friends? Go ahead and pass out the URL.

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EOJ

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