The National Daily World Enquiring Globe

Moockie & Mongo Go To Old Mexico

We got this great idea at the tail of production of World Wide Wackiness Vol. 1 Issue 1. Robot cameras were installed, and Mojo was fairly pissed at us. Sure, let's go to Cabo San Lucas!

We put together a crack team of staff members from LowComDom's Vacation Division. We used a very scientific method to choose who would go.

The two staff members with the highest number of points were sent off -- not to reward them, but to give the rest of us some peace and quiet!

Mongo and Moockie in the airport

Our volunteers to waste the NEA's money were Mongo and Moockie. We're not going to tell you who had the highest scores in which categories. After all, one of them has our mailman scared to death. Can we be far behind?

Mongo likes chasing Mojo through the house with a transmitter collar. Moockie believes if we cut off the rest of Biff Pondwater's fingers, he'll be able to count faster. [Perhaps we're revealing too much? -ED]

A big airplane

Alaska Airlines, the official airline of LowComDom (at least until we get a better deal with someone else). When wasting the NEA's money, may we suggest Alaska Airlines?

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Oh good, we're at the part I like!

Moockie and Mongo in a pool at the bar

The Mexican people are extremely advanced. They know that nothing dehydrates you faster than standing in a swimming pool. That's why they put a full bar in every hotel pool. IT'S THE LAW!

Here we see Moockie using Mongo's white chest to flash Morse code messages to ships at sea. This afternoon's message is...

.-- ./ .- .-. ./  --- ..- -/ --- ..-./ - . --.- ..- .. .-.. .-

Mongo pointing at boats

Here's a few of the ships that responded. One other showed up with our postman on board and quickly went back out to sea.

Here we see Mongo modeling the proper attire for the computer geek in Mexico. Long hair, cleanT-shirt with software artwork, shorts with lots of pockets, sandals with no socks. Drives the babes wild!

Mongo Pointing at El Squid Roe

"Let's go in here and see if they know what Oink, Peep & Moo is. Oh yeah, and my blood alcohol level has dipped below .9. We need to start drinking."

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Check!
  5. Found the wild babes? Begin: Mission From God Mode

Mongo drinking booze

Moockie:"If you keep drinking like that, we're going to have to send more Morse code to the boats. By the way, I put saltpeter in the booze. Oh look, here come the loose women!"

Moockie face down on a table

Mongo: "What's the matter, Moockie? Don't you just hate a guy who can handle his milkshake?"

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Check!
  5. Found the wild babes? Check!
  6. Poisoned your friend's drink? Check!
  7. Had real Mexican food? Check!

Mongo with a disgusted look on his face

Mongo: "Trust me, don't go in the bathroom! By the way, dinner was great! Let's call room service and get more!"

Mongo holding bottle of Evian

Mongo: "When you think about it, this isn't much different than Caffeine Free Diet Coke."

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Check!
  5. Found the wild babes? Check!
  6. Poisoned your friend's drink? Check!
  7. Had real Mexican food? Check!
  8. Killed a large animal? Check!

Mongo with a swordfish

Mongo: "No, fishing's not hard at all."

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Check!
  5. Found the wild babes? Check!
  6. Poisoned your friend's drink? Check!
  7. Had real Mexican food? Check!
  8. Killed a large animal? Check!
  9. Killed a large animal that goes well with red wine? Check!

Mongo holding a robe bullfighter style

Mongo: "Bull fighting ain't hard, either. Nothing up my sleeve! Presto!"

  1. Feet back on dry land? Check!
  2. Passed through the custom department's Body Cavity Inspection? Check!
  3. Checked into hotel? Check!
  4. Drunk? Check!
  5. Found the wild babes? Check!
  6. Poisoned your friend's drink? Check!
  7. Had real Mexican food? Check!
  8. Killed a large animal? Check!
  9. Killed a large animal that goes well with red wine? Check!
  10. Managed to get back out of the country without visiting jail? Check!

Moockie and Mongo asleep on the plane home

Moockie: "I'm pooped!... zzzzzzz"

The boys learned several valuable lessons in Mexico.

1.) Never put your drink on the bar. It will just get kicked over when that Macaroni song comes on.
B.) Always wear number 36 sunblock when you're going to pass out in the hotel's outdoor jacuzzi.
3.) Do not refer to the local cops as Federalis. They really get pissed off, and you can't get out of it with doughnuts. They don't even know what a Maple Bar is.