From Da Joke Archives
A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
After two holes they were even. The second guy said, 'We're about evenly matched. How about playing for five bucks a hole?'
The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy then won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen and while counting his $80, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The golf pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The priest said, 'No, you won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. Keep your winnings.'
The pro said, 'Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?'
The priest answered, 'Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.'
Word of the Day
- The first fully-functional android. The machine was Vice President of the United States of America from 2001 to 2009. The android's duties included defending, preserving, and protecting secrets; keeping the President of the United States of America from realizing where power really sat; and operating the shredder.
We are referring only to the B model of the series. The Richard "Dick" A. Cheney never worked properly and was eventually used by its creator, The Walt Disney Company, to entertain theme park guests as "Skippy" on the Alien Encounter attraction.
The B model wasn't without its challenges. On February 11, 2006, the B model malfunctioned and shot a human it was not aiming for. The victim later apologized to the android for getting in the way.
From the The LowComDom Online Dictionary
In his column, "BlockBuster: Even Free Can Suck" Fek'Lar thus spake... "I've been a Dish Network subscriber for many years. When we bought Casa de Fek, I had a dish attached to the chimney. I had worked in cable television for a few years in my early career. My experience in the industry was that cable companies were slow to make repairs when there was an outage, and they had a habit of changing the channels you got every January. I had heard good things about the satellite companies. There was less equipment to fail, and you were not as restricted about which channels you could get. The dish was put up, and the service was great. The only thing that could interrupt my signal was a power outage or a bald eagle landing on my chimney. Over the years, the increases in price have been modest, and Dish has a habit of giving me more channels without charging more for them. " more...
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